Two Drifters, Off to see the World

"Never love a wild thing, Mr. Bell," Holly advised him. "That was Doc's mistake. He was always lugging home wild things. A hawk with a hurt wing. One time it was a full-grown bobcat with a broken leg. But you can't give your heart to a wild thing: the more you do, the stronger they get. Until they're strong enough to run into the woods. Or fly into a tree. Then a taller tree. Then the sky. That's how you'll end up, Mr. Bell. If you let yourself love a wild thing, you'll end up looking at the sky."

"She's drunk," Joe Bell informed me.

Breakfast at Tiffany's the movie, is a glitzy affair, high on aesthtics..a lot about Audrey Hepburn in her Givenchy and Audrey Hepburn in general. The movie is touching and poignant in several ways, but its beauty is (at least I think) slightly overshadowed by the Golightly/ Hepburn cult following it created.

Breakfast at Tiffany's the book is however a different experience altogether. The book's jacket describes it as a glamorous portrayal of New York in the 40s. In my opinion, it is anything but that. The book strips bare the glamour and exposes the cracks, the artificial lives and the struggle to survive in a city of the rich and famous. Your heart goes out to young writer 'Fred' (who is unnamed in the book) and his purely platonic affection for Holly (For I was in love with her. Just as I'd once been in love with my mother's elderly coloured cook and a postman who let me follow him on his rounds and a whole family named McKendrick. That category of love generates jealousy, too. as he puts it). You can almost feel the pain of Holly's husband when he has to leave her for good. And of course, there's Holly herself. Larger than life, confused, trying to be something she thinks she is...'A real phoney' as her agent calls her. Truman Capote (who is rapidly becoming one of my favourite writers) writes beautifully and lyrically, the prose peppered with metaphors that draw you into the story and make you feel for the characters.

The reason I'm writing this post and reproducing the exchange at its beginning is because I've always fancied myself as something of a Holly Golightly, the essence of whom (and myself in that sense) is captured in those lines (and I don't mean as a fashion icon or anything). When I first heard these lines in the movie, I quite fell in love with them. 'This is me' I thought (or liked to think), 'a wild thing that can't be loved'. While I was no doubt glamorising myself (as we all are prone to doing at some point I'm sure), I have in general been averse to any sort of commitment, fiercely holding on to my 'freedom' and despising myself for growing dependent in anyway. This has proved to be a fairly reasonable (if not prudent) philosophy to have in life. However, I am wondering now if that was in a large degree to do with some kind of emotional immaturity. While there is still a lot of appeal in those lines, it is also someone I want to be, but whom I can't really be anymore (and it is quite hard for me to accept this). Maybe its time to 'settle down' in that sense and really figure out this aspect of my life, because I increasingly find myself longing for that kind of companionship. Or maybe I am too afraid to get attached, I still don't know, and I don't think I've quite struck that balance yet. Whatever it might be, while those lines continue to move me, they don’t do so necessary because they resonate with larger truths about my life. They touch me for the sheer simplicity of the comparison and the beauty with which they are written. They also really make me wish I could express myself that way. And yet, I still don't know....

Holly lifted her martini. "Let's wish the Doc luck, too," she said, touching her glass against mine. "Good luck: and believe me, dearest Doc -- it's better to look at the sky than live there. Such an empty place; so vague. Just a country where the thunder goes and things disappear."

Probably.

Watching those videos of Thiruda Thiruda today confirmed that my vague childhood memories of a lot of people dancing in front of a palace like structure and a fairly plump woman in a white scandalous (as considered by my family then) top and skirt, were actually about something tangible. I could remember both Veera Pandi Kottayela and Kannum Kannum as songs that I have definitely heard (apart from the electric Chandralekha, which I have heard otherwise also). I am also hooked onto Rasathi. Its tam a cappela! I'm pretty sure I haven't heard this song before; or may be I have and it subconciously influenced my a cappella craze. A really lovely song, one of the best I've heard I think. Its seriously time I went back and watched some of these movies again. Rewatching Baazigar was excellent. I shouldn't let all this great music fade into mere memory.

Judy Judy Judy!

For as long as I can remember, I have idolised Judy Garland. Even before Audrey Hepburn and Julie Andrews (though I have practically grown up watching Mary Poppins). I remember in class 5 or so, I read 'The Wonderful Wizard of Oz' and then waited eagerly, with my VCR ready to record 'The Wizard of Oz' when it came on TNT. I recall being extremely disappointed with the movie. It was my first dose of the bitter fact that movie adaptations of books do not always follow the original storyline. How could the script writers make Glinda and the good witch of the North the same? How could they send Dorothy back home straight from Emerald City, without her final journey to the South across Chinatown and the hill of the Hammerheads. And most sacrilagious of all, how could the whole thing have been a dream?! I was extremely upset and refused to watch the movie for a long time since then. But slowly, it grew on me. The iconic status that this movie has achieved now is farily understandable..I have never seen any movie so supremely designed to end up as iconic! Every line is quotable, every song is hummable, every character is memorable...Its a great package. And Judy Garland was soon my heroine.

She is pretty much the quitessential solo music performer. In my opinion, no one can quite perform like her. In 'Over the Rainbow', she unconciously holds your attention..her simple vulnerability, her innocence, her pleading eyes and the longing in her voice can appeal to people of all ages, be it young children or adults longing to get away from their stressful existence. This is officially my most favourite song of all time (surprisingly!). No song has so consistently moved me or inspired so many feelings like this song. I can listen to it even today and feel a lump in my throat. I totally think it deserves its status as the greatest movie song ever...to think it was almost deleted from the final cut of the movie! My admiration for Judy grew, watching her opposite Mickey Rooney in the 'Andy Hardy' movies. And then, I saw 'The Man that Got Away'. At the risk of repeating myself, I truly think this is one of the greatest performances I have ever seen of a song. And its unnerving how I know and can imagine, while listening to the song, ever hand gesture of hers, every expression..the way she covers her stage, throws her hand out, pushes her fringe back (I know I'm starting to sound slightly creepy now)etc etc! Simply amazing.

Judy Garland is the reason I have always wanted to be a singer in a night club (and consequently wished I was born white). Two songs, 'The Man that Got Away' and 'An Affair to Remember' (this one has Deborah Kerr singing) have always epitomised the elegant, smoky nightclubs of the 50s for me...and era and scene that I've always longed to be a part of. Of course, its all fantasy, nothing will ever come of such dreams. But every now and then, I like to imagine myself singing 'The Man that Got Away' with my backing band, an elegant dress on, wowing the crowd like Judy Garland continues to wow me. This post to dedicated to her, my childhood heroine, who's influence remains to this day.