Brokeback Melbourne Park?

Tough match it was but really?

I know a match report should ideally follow. But I didn't see the whole thing :(

International Law

I am so bored and sleepy right now, even fantastic lines like 'the civilising force of hypocrisy' found if you look hard enough in (in other words study) international law articles are not inspiring me. Of course, it is 3:20 in the morning so I have a RIGHT to feel this way!

That's a really cool line though and deserves a blog entry to itself (one more of my contributions to the body of literature in IL), but this is not that because right now my brain is too clogged up to process anything much. I also had my IL viva the other day. My IL project is on Bosnia v. Serbia, basically dealing with alleged claims of genocide that Bosnia had against Serbia. As part of the Serbian counter submissions to Bosnia's submissions was this creepy poem found in a Boanian paper:

Dear Mother, I'm going to plant willows
We'll hang Serbs from them
Dear Mother I'm going to sharpen knives
We'll soon fill pits again

Its shocking that so much hatred can exist and for no real reason. As I was deeply moved by this poem (and also because I didn't really want to do my project), I googled Bosnia and Serbia for images of both. They happen to be stunningly pretty places with lovely, picturesque hamlets..almost honeymoon destination worthy (presumably these are not the war stricken zones). Its pretty sad that they don't like each other. May be they should appoint women presidents / prime ministers and then refer to my post on this to solve all their problems. Apparently these places have also been reduced to abject poverty due to this prolonged conflict. But do white people really know what poverty is? In Bill Bryson's book 'The Lost Continent" (really delighful read, highly reccomended if you are fascinated by small town America) he says that most of the 'white poor' in America own a car, and that too is usually bought first hand. Then how can they really be poor? I think these guys should coin a separate word to refer to their sense of poverty..something like Pobunolinththiwor (Poor-but-not-like-in-the-third-world) or Capoor (poor with a car). And then whether they have a car or not should be the starting point of their poverty line. By now you have probably concluded that I should make too many contributions to international policy..I have also conlcuded the same thing but I think the world could do with some humour and innovative solutions. But this is all just random theorising, its time to get back to the real (read boring) theories.

The Idiot Box at its Idiotic Best

So I've been drowning my sorrows in reality, comedy and lifestyle TV :) In the past 3 days, I've watched the following:

1. America's Next Top Model: Very interesting show, bitchy as usual. The women are all rather ugly, the slightely pretty ones have no character and there are some really entertaining moments! All of them have issues with everything. Highly recommended!
2. Ballroom Boot Camp: Its a sweet kinda show, it picks out three women who can't dance and allows them to 'discover themselves' by learning some dance form, which they have to present in the end. There's some nice dancing involved, but there's not too much bitching (which is the best party). See it if you have nothing else to do.
3. The Fabulous Life: One seriously awesome show! Today's episode was on 'Young, hot Hollywood". The Lindsday Lohan, Paris Hilton, Olsen Twins types. The narrator or whatever he's called is really good with his super sarcy (somtimes overdone) voice. Other awesome episodes include the one on 'Celebrity Wives' and 'Celebrity Relatives'! You must totally watch this at some point :)
4. Project Runway: Another show that I've grown to love, Heidi Klume is at her dumb best, the designers and their sliming is always fun to watch and some of the designs are actually really good. Another show in this category is Shear Genius about hairstylists, but I haven't seen it for a while.
5. Great Hotels: I like this show for its host Samamtha Brown. She's warm, humorous and fun and has nice interesting observations about the hotels she stays in. And the hotels are gorgeous of course, the presidential suites are jaw-droppingly awesome and you wish you could stay there. Sigh, may be some day.
6. Saturday Night Live: its funny in parts though sometimes the humour is very localised (in jokes about American icons and all) and slapstick. They usuallt pick hosts and the entertainment I've seen so far is Christina Aguilera and Kanye West, so I'm not so sure about that...But its good time pass.
7. Nigella's Feats: of course, I've saved the best for the last. Her recipies vary from interesting and innovative (ice cream cake!) to "oh what a scam" (bread and milk..excuse me!!) to "oh those are a LOT of carbs makin' their way into mah system" (I've lost count of the numbe of these). But some of the most effective camera work I've ever seen, everything looks oh so tasty (not to mention the host herself for most men). My favourite of the lot :)
   

Another bunch of recommended shows, which I haven't seen in a while though are My Super Sweet Sixteen (this is entertainment at its best!!) and Million Dollar Agents (about a real estate firm that deals with celebrity clients. Its funny cuz of the eccentric owner of the firm).

I think its fitting to end this post with a cool description of Paris Hilton's new chopper:
"So Paris got like this totally awesome chopper, which is like hot pink...and encrusted with swaross-ski crystals! And its so cool cuz its got this really wack video i-Pod attached. AND the top of its petrol tank doubles as a compac mirror!!! Now that's totally hot!!"

The Common Tie of Womanhood

Being a part of the feminine species has always been a rewarding and entertaining experience. The the only thing possibly better than being a woman would be..chocolate. (Cliched? Oh well).
I will however comment in this post on one particular aspect of womanhood that I just love i.e. the ability for us to overcome all our issues, differences, bitchiness, shyness, whatever when the other member of our species...loses weight! Believe me, it is an extremely interesting and exciting phenomenon. As you all might be knowing, I have successfully managed to effect a dramatic change in my waistline (if I may say so), of late. The reactions it provoked were quite fantastic. Firstly at my gym, two ladies who had thrown me general 'oh-here's-one-of-those-young-upstarts-with-headphones' looks in the first two weeks of my gymming career opened their hearts to me towards that later period. One lady told me about her son who was in engineering and how he was finding hostel hard and so on and so forth, after commenting on my grit and determination on the treadmill and how remarkable my progress was. Another lady told me about how she used to have an acne problem (acne is also a good conversation topic) and how she used some very effective cream and how I should also use it, following which she congratulated on my butt reduction techniques. It was most delightful.

Of course the widespread reactions in college have been amazing. I knew whispers followed me as I passed but I was bombed when one senior came and asked me how I lost weight and said "I heard that you were following this one diet.." I mean, wow! There are rumours doing the rounds about which diet I followed. And then there was the random LLM lady who kindly commended me on my efforts. The number of people who I have never spoken to who have come and asked me for tips, advice, blessings etc. is quite mind numbing!

Weight loss is a most effective bridge to any communication gap. Had Hitler and Churchill been women, Churchill would have just had to knock off a couple of those pounds and the two of them would have been chilling together in some sauna room somewhere discussing the benefits of low carbs versus micro-biotic diets. And World War II might never have happened, think about it!

I don't know if feminists will agree with this post..I don't know even if I am sanctioning the objectification of women herein. But I do know that everything stated in the above lines is absolutely true and that's why I simply love being a woman!

Imperial Rhapsody

Seriously awesome..Thank you Vrinda for this one!

Imperial Rhapsody

(sung to the tune of Bohemian Rhapoody, by Queen)

Lando: This is the good life
This is a fantasy
Working on Bespin
An escape from Reality.
Leia: Open your eyes
Stand up to their guys and see.
Luke: I'm just a farmboy, I need some sympathy
Cus who's my dad, I dunno
Little whine, little moan.
Han: Anywhere the Force goes, doesn't really matter, to me

Piett: Vader just killed a man.
Raised an arm up in the air
Now his life is no longer there.
Vader, we had just begun,
And now I've gone and lost the reb-el scum.
Vader, oooooooo.
Did mean too make you mad
If I'm not alive again this time tomorrow,
There'll be a new admiral, as if nothing ever happened.

Yoda: Too late, my time has come,
Sends shivers down my spine
Body's aching all the time.
Luke: Goodbye everybody, I've got to go
Gootta leave you all behind and learn the Force.
Piett: Vader, ooooooooooo,
I don't wanna die
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all.

Luke: I see a little silhouetto of a man
Palpatine, Palpatine, can it be the Emperor?
Thunderbolts and lightning, very very hurting me!
R2-D2, R2-D2,
R2-D2, R2-D2,
R2-D2, Where'd ya go? C-3PO O O O O O OH!

I'm just a farmboy, nobody loves me.
Rebels: He's just a farmboy, with a dead family.
Spare him this life of such mundacity!
Han: Spice'll come, spice'll go. Jabba let me go.
Jabba: Boo shuda! (NO, we will not let you go)
Han: Let me go!
Jabba: Bo shuda! (We will not let you go)
Han: Let me go!
Jabba: Bo shuda! (We will not let you go)
Han: LET ME GO!
Jabba: WILL NOT LET YOU GOO!
Han: LET ME GO! Jabba: WILL NOT LET YOU GO!

Han: LET ME GO!
Jabba: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!

C-3PO: Oh R2-D2, R2-D2, R2-D2, Come along.
Leia: C-3PO has a rebel put aside for meeee, for meeee. for MEEEEEEEEEE!

(Stormtroopers start headbanging)

Luke: So you say you're the dear old dad of mine?
But you cut my hand off and left me to die!
Oh Vader, can't do this to me, Vader.
I know there's some good, I know there's still some good in you.

Obiwan: May the Force be with you.
Use the Force to see.
May the Force be with you,
May the Force be with you, alwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaays.

Han: Anywhere the Force goes, doesn't really mat-ter, to meeeeeeeeeee.

---

My Eloquence or Lack Thereoff

After reading this blog, one would think I had a pretty decent command over the English language (I ought to, its the only language I know). I possess a fairly good vocabulary. I may not be able to convey the real sense of a location (the way du Maurier or Tolkein manage) or express my feelings in a completely transparent and wholly accurate manner. Surely there might be glaring ambiguities and gaping holes in my entries. But I do get the meaning across somewhat. All my 'eloquence' however disappears (and I mean disappears, vanishes..poof!) when it comes to writing projects. I don't know what it is about them that stumps me, may be it is because I'm writing about subjects not close to my heart. Nevertheless, the complete and vast void that my brain becomes during project submission time could probably house several elephants and a brontosaurus as an added bonus! I look at a project topic and immediately my knowledge of the English language, being an independent entity, decides to limit itself to the bare minimum. I always wish that I could be like Humpty Dumpty in Through the Looking Glass and just assign meanings to words as I feel like. Or write my projects in 'nadsat' slang (the case deals with a malchick who with his droogs finished off some starry old ptisa, my Brother). Or Tam slang for that matter (the judge cannot chumma make a decision).

The result of this is that: 'thus' and 'hence' are used nearly 100 times, the project always seems to be 'examining' or 'looking at' something (verbs, what are they?), 'however' starts every other sentence (really, it has synonyms?), 'primarily' is the only real adjective used and every other judgement is 'landmark'. And this is just the tip of the ice-berg. Anyone who reads my projects will probably want to sit me down to a good grammar/ language session. And this reasonably articulate post has been made while I'm struggling with my CPC project (the projects seeks to examine...no no, I've used that...err...look into, no wait...ummmm...establish? But thats a different meaning altogether..sigh..I have a headache).

Oh well, I think I'll just propitiate myself by writing palaverous and periphrastic blog entries.