Oh Dear

So I finally turned twenty. And I started work in a place where I..well, work..Actual constructive stuff which makes a difference, which is used..not the chilling on orkut/ wikipedia/ in malls kinda stuff that I'm used to. So I have been fully introduced to the life I am expected to lead..
"The legal profession, and it is a truly beautiful profession..At least at the trial court stage, you actually see the law you learned being implemented..those very procedures and practices being put into good use. Going to court is good fun...The judges are always interesting to watch, you're not struck so much by the majesty of the law at this stage (the civil courts being largely weird, badly lit, rickety places with insanely smelly toilets and no refreshment facilities whatsoever), but you still get the feeling that you're helping people in someway. You see the other advocates and notice how hopelessly incompetent they look and you feel proud of yourself..proud that you are worth so much more and yet, you are practicing this profession at its most basic level..hoping to actually reach out and make a difference somewhere. Also, there's the thrill of legal research..finding that one case which says exactly what you want, looking for loopholes in the opposite party's argument, finding ways to corner a witness and so on...one of the best feelings in the world! Really, being a part of the legal fraternity is pretty stunning!"

Funnily, I don't really feel any of the above. Well going to court is nice and all, but its just for entertainment value really. And finding a case...well that makes me happy because my boss will be happy with me then, its pretty mind-numbing work otherwise...Of course I don't really care too much whether my boss is happy because, I don't want to work in this place again. Mind you, its got absolutely nothing to do with anyone else and everything to do with me...which brings me to the essential question:
What the hell am I doing here? Its too late to turn back now, gotta move on. To where?