Its all in your head

When I started playing in badminton tournaments, one of two most often repeated phrases were 'match mentality' and 'killer instinct'. Today I watched the woman's final and the normally fiery Dinara Safina lacked both. May be its because, as Vijay Amritraj said, she comes from the Safin family. They are prone to periods of high performace and equal periods of apathy. Safina undoubtedly wanted to equal her brother's performance of 2005 here, when he won the title. But today, as she herself said, she was more like a 'ballboy' on the court. Serena Williams was at her destructive best, keeping up a steady stream of winners and aces while Safina regularly served up double faults (3 in her opening service game). I was feeling terribly sorry for her and wondered what in the world had made her lose sight of her 'match mentality' that had allowed her to come through difficult matches such as against Dokic (with the crowd practically ignoring her winners) and Alizia Cornet. Even if Safina was meant to lose, the scoreline of 6-0, 6-3 doesn't even begin to speak of her actual abilities. I recalled the French Open final, where similary she had had a dream run only to throw it away against Anna Ivanovich, the scoreline once again not doing her justice.

And thats what made me realise what 'match mentality' really was. The ability to be in something as huge as a grand slam final and still have that determination to pull through. The ability to think and focus at that time, putting all mind-numbing thoughts of preparation, all previous matches, even if they were unenjoyable, the ability to play for that moment alone. Total concentration and focus. Safina has always carried baggage with her. Her comment in one of the press conferences about how 'someone screamed at her from the crowd but she ignored it' and her sullen expression while playing all indicate that she does not enjoy tennis or love the game like she should. May be its the pressure of her brother's unfinished legacy, may be its a maddening desire to establish her own legacy, 'match mentality' does not call for any of these thoughts. Its calls for thoughts about the match at hand alone.

I was quite upset by the way she had lost (I don't know why I supported her, especially against Serena, because of Safin I guess) and kept wondering aloud "But she was playing so well. What happened?". Mom as usual put my thinking right "Why do you get repeats then, even if you study? It all depends on how you perform at that moment right?" So true! And quite a comparable situation!

After her loss today, she finally eased up; she was laughing and chatting with Serena; it was a stark contrast to the way she looked daggers at Anna Ivanovich in that French Open final. May be she had finally learned to cope with her baggage, to let go and realise that sometimes circumstances just push things out of your hand. The initial tears and then the acceptance. Not that she shouldn't blame herself, those double faults were really uncalled for, that too in the first service game...but still she new there would be other chances, other attempts, other ways in which she could prove herself. And I think I have also reached that level of acceptance. I said this once before - some would call it being resigned to their fate. I would call it detachment, hopefully bringing you one step closer to that ever elusive 'match mentality'.